Days of Summer.

Hello old friend,

I see that time hasn’t ravaged you yet. I really missed those eyes – and no, I’m not trapped in the wrong moment of time – but do you remember in the summers of our youth when you used to have your hands explore my skin? Because I do, and I remember you. And the warmth of the summer night, as your wandering eyes found the scars buried deep within.

There are reasons for these scars; my daddy never liked it when I twirled in my mama’s sundress. I never knew that black skin could glow, but that one summer night you showed me that it can shine even in the darkness. Until that moment, all I knew was broken dreams and the pool of despair that drowned the youth of Atteridgeville. Some of us sank to the bottom, while others drew their last breathes under the dimly lit streets as the bullets from rival taxi associations made their final homes in their bodies.

I never knew I could miss someone so much, I never knew that I’d miss summer and the stolen moments under streetlights, and I never knew that joy could be embodied in a person. You always looked so good in your red shirt. I even miss your smell, how it reminded me of hope, and how it made me forget the brutality that came with summer; most of us never made it out being the same.

I have a porch now, it’s not like the one from my youth. Remember our last time there, on the porch? On the last days of the summer where Billy died, I remember watching you smoke your cigarette, and I’d whisper, “do you love me?” under the smoke. And under the glow of the summer moon, you said “I’ll stay with you tonight” , And I held on to this part, these words. I kept on coming back to them, in my loneliness and when the silence filled my head.

Sure, maybe the plans in my head were grand because I thought you’d stay beyond the summer, instead I ended up cursing your name under the pink summer skies of my dreamland.

No, I don’t blame you for leaving me to burn under the heat of our last summer, the harshest one. And yes, old friend I love who I am now, I even stopped chasing your ghost.

Can I hold your hand? Just one last time, and look into those eyes that brought me to life?

It’s the last day of summer and…

“I’ll stay with you tonight”